Deontay Wilder has blamed so many people and objects (but not himself) for his defeat by Tyson Fury that we began to lose count.
The former heavyweight world champion was stopped by Fury last February in the seventh round of their rematch.
And rather than admit he was beaten by the better man on the night, Wilder has looked to blame all and sundry for his first professional loss.
For a while he at least had the consolation of a third fight with Fury but after the Brit walked away from it, Wilder has come out swinging once again.
So, if like us you've lost track of his myriad of excuses, here's a handy re-cap…
1. His 'spiked' water
This is a new one for Wilder but an age-old claim in boxing.
Most people would agree that the former champion didn't look himself in the fight but those same people also believe that was down to Fury's approach and game plan.
Not for Wilder though and he has now said he thinks someone spiked his pre-fight drinks which affected his performance.
"About 15 minutes before going out to the fight, warming up on the mitts, it was perfect, I felt great," he said.
"Until I went to the ring… that transformation, I was drinking certain water and stuff, trying to keep myself hydrated.
"I just start feeling weird. My water was spiked as if I took a muscle relaxer or something like that.
"After a fight is over with and it don’t go in your favour you're always looking for what happened.
"Certain things, the atmosphere just didn't seem right. It felt like something was about to go down, and not in my favour.
"It wasn't just the suit, my water was tampered with.
"This feeling here, it was a different feeling. It was like I had no control over my body, my legs was weak and stuff like that."
The only surprising thing about this excuse is that it's taken Wilder almost nine months to come out with it.
OUR VERDICT: Get outta here
2. His outfit
The classic excuse and Wilder's first attempt to deflect blame away from himself.
Within hours of losing his world title, the Alabamaman was claiming his costume tribute for Black History Month was so heavy it weakened his skinny legs.
"He didn't hurt me at all, but the simple fact is… that my uniform was way too heavy for me," he said. "I didn't have no legs from the beginning of the fight. In the third round, my legs were just shot all the way through.
"I was only able to put it on [for the first time] the night before, but I didn't think it was going to be that heavy.
"It weighed 40lb with the helmet and all the batteries. I wanted my tribute to be great for Black History Month. I wanted it to be good and I guess I put that before anything."
Now, we've never worn a huge costume and then fought the best heavyweight in the world so initially some credence was given to this excuse.
But the internet never forgets and shortly after Wilder's claim, footage emerged of him telling Joe Rogan that he wears an even heavier vest during training.
"I wear a 45lb vest during all my exercises and everything that I do, to have that extra weight on me." he said.
OUR VERDICT: Busted
3. His trainer
Is no-one advising this man?
Boxers need reasons for losing, we get that, but don't drag a respected former world champion into your la-la land and muddy his name in the process.
That's exactly what Wilder did when he blamed his trainer Mark Breland for his defeat after he threw in the towel in the seventh round.
Wilder was backed up by his head coach Jay Deas but was then very quickly shouted down by anyone and everyone in the boxing world who raced to Breland's defence.
If the towel hadn't come in, Wilder was heading for a nasty knockout, or at the very least an extra barrage of punches that his brain just did not need.
Just recently it was confirmed that Wilder and Breland have parted ways and if you ask us, Breland is better off out of there.
OUR VERDICT: Take a look in the mirror
4. Fury cheating
This one isn't even Wilder's own work.
No, he saw a few YouTube videos and decided to copy the vlogger's homework and pass it off as his own.
Presumably he thought he was being clever by waiting eight months to do so as the American re-introduced the notion of Fury cheating this weekend.
"In the first fight when Ricky Hatton was pulling down your gloves to put your fists in an improper position," he rambled. "You all tried the same method the second fight but but this time you scratched flesh out of my ears which caused them to bleed.
"I highly believe you put something hard in your glove, something the shape and size of an egg… the reason why the side of head swelled up in the shape of an egg and left a dent in my head."
Boxers have been known to cheat in the past by inserting weighted objects into their gloves but every fan has seen how meticulous the gloving-up process is these days.
A member of the opposing team is alongside someone from the commission as the fighter is being wrapped up and so we're not sure just when Fury is supposed to have slipped this egg-shaped object into his mits.
For the record, Fury and his team have consistently denied any wrongdoing.
OUR VERDICT: You're still concussed
5. The referee
Referee Kenny Bayless is no stranger to a big fight but that didn't stop Wilder claiming he was biased during the biggest heavyweight fight in a generation.
"Bayless had come in my dressing room, looked me in my eyes and said if I hit Fury in the back of the head – a rabbit punch – or hit off of the break, he would disqualify me or deduct two points from me," he said.
"I guess those rules just applied to me because they didn't apply to my opponent. He hit me in the back of the neck and the head all night and Bayless didn't do anything about it, to the point I got lumps and bruises. That was a thing that was very frustrating to me."
Breaking news, Deontay, it gets rough in the ring at times.
Wilder was clearly frustrated that Fury had worked out a way to beat him and that he wasn't able to find a way into the fight, never mind drop him as he did twice in their first meeting.
OUR VERDICT: Stick to playing golf
6. His injury
This one might actually have carried some weight if it wasn't for the litany of excuses which preceded it.
Wilder claims he hurt his left bicep during the fight and later had surgery on it which meant he was unable to train for several months.
There is little to doubt he is telling the truth and perhaps we could grudgingly accept that it may have caused him problems in the fight.
But he showed little sign of discomfort throughout the one-sided beatdown and attributing the loss to a sore arm takes away the credit from Fury.
OUR VERDICT: Dry your eyes, mate
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