Check out the best items from David Ortiz’s very weird estate sale

Stars — they’re just like us!

Former Red Sox slugger David Ortiz is having an estate sale at his former Weston, Mass., property on Friday. While I’m sure many people can relate to wanting to declutter (although I’m not sure most people have a Fenway-themed basement to store their junk in), some of the items for sale are definitely a little strange.

Does he have some interesting items that fans would love to see, like old jerseys, signed photos, and other miscellaneous memorabilia? Yes. However, that is not what this article is about.

Here’s a look at the weirdest things for sale from the Ortiz estate.

Barrels of fun

First up, this lovely barrel cabinet.



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A little quirky for a mansion in the richest town in Massachusetts, but certainly not the oddest thing here because …

That’s right! There’s also a barrel chest! You simply must purchase the pair.



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Having two definitely makes it weirder. One is a fun accent piece. Two is … you got a deal at the barrel store? You’re running a saloon? No idea.

Drink up

Numbered wine charms, perfect for your glass of crisp Zinfandellsbury. With a few jinglebell charms for Christmas, too.



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Do you think Big Papi put both three and four on his glass? Fun to speculate!

They see me rollin’

Ortiz also has a custom Red Sox hoverboard that has seen a few rides.



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There’s no way he used this in Boston, because those hilly, uneven sidewalks would break his neck. Maybe he just rolled around the house?

Cake taahpahs

This is something that not even my grandmother would pick up.



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It doesn’t look used, and doesn’t exactly scream “baseball player,” so your guess is as good as mine. But it is fun to say “cake topper” in a Boston accent. Try it.

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Fenway Franks

Some of these items, while weird, are a steal. Pretty nice charcoal grill, never used. 



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He has a fancy grill out back, so I like to imagine that someone not close to him bought this as a gift and he politely stored it away. Considerate Papi.

Slip on, slip off

Hard to tell if the Pedro Martinez slides are worn or not since they come with the box.



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I’m sure it was a gift to the team, but it’s either very cool or very weird to walk around in your best friend’s custom shoes. You can decide for yourself.

Spiderbelt, Spiderbelt

Nothing rhymes with Spiderbelt (that makes sense).



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We’ll have to assume this belongs to one of his kids, but he definitely should have worn this during games.

Just a cool frog

This frog, quite literally, rocks. Look at this guy.



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He’s obviously going to be a hot-ticket item at the estate sale.

Bookcase

Nothing remarkable here, except that I really hope that Big Papi has read “Under the Tuscan Sun,” “Confessions of a Shopaholic” and “New Moon.”



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This printer from 2002

Lots of questions here.

Do they still make ink for these? Why didn’t Ortiz buy a new printer after 2002 when everyone goes through at least one printer every five years? How does a printer from 2002 still work? It prints in color, but only comes with one black ink cartridge?



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Oink

Last, we have some lovely dishes in the shape of pigs.



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Not sure what meals you would serve in these, but anything pork feels either too on the nose or disrespectful.

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