Every Prem club’s worst panic buys – including record signing who never scored

10/07/2023 Soccer

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    • In football, there’s very little worse than a ham-fisted panic buy.

    Transfers are a tricky business and as much as they’ve become the lifeblood of modern football culture, a large chunk of them are ill-thought-out and hastily completed.

    The Premier League is 31-years-old and over the past three-and-a-bit decades panic-stricken clubs have pissed away cash on over-expensive, unnecessary or just downright bad players hundreds upon hundreds of time.

    That said, allow Daily Star Sport to run you through each Premier League’s biggest and/or worst panic buy and how those players fared. Some of these will really make you wince …

    READ MORE: Football’s 10 best transfers ever completed – according to ChatGPT

    1. Arsenal – Kim Kallstrom

      Arsenal lived out the dream of every circa 2007 Football Manager player by signing Sweden star Kim Kallstrom on loan, but the dream quickly turned into a nightmare.

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      Injuries and suspensions forced the club to sign a stop-gap midfielder on deadline day in January 2014, and their desperation forced them to overlook a back injury discovered during Kallstrom’s medical.

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      He didn’t make his debut until late March, by which point the Gunners’ title hopes were long dead, and Kallstrom ended up playing just three more times for the club before sent back to parent club Spartak Moscow.

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    2. Aston Villa – Bosko Balaban

      Bosko Balaban was an absolute disaster for Aston Villa.

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      The Croatian striker cost them £5.8m – which was close to a club record at the time – and failed to score a single goal before being released on a free in 2003, just two years after he joined.

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      He didn’t even manage to complete a full 90 minute match until eight months into his stint in England – and it was a reserve game!

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    3. Bournemouth – Jordon Ibe

      Bournemouth’s decision to sign Jordon Ibe from Liverpool in 2016 wasn’t necessarily panic-induced, but given the fee they paid for him there’s no denying it was ‘ill-thought-out’.

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      The youngster joined for a club-record £15m despite having just one full season of semi-regular senior football at Anfield under his belt.

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      He spent two underwhelming years in the Cherries’ first team before being dropped for ‘inconsistency’ according to manager Eddie Howe, and in 2020 the club let his contract expire and he left for nothing.

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    4. Brentford – Nick Proschwitz

      There was plenty of expectation on the shoulders of Nick Proschwitz when he arrived at newly-promoted Championship side Brentford in 2014.

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      The German arrived off the back of a successful career in Bundesliga 2 and, desperate to make a splash in the transfer market after reaching the second tier of English football for the first time in over 20 years, the Bees took a punt on him.

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      But it didn’t work, and Proschwitz bagged just two goals in 20 games before being sent back to his homeland a year later.

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    1. Brighton & Hove Albion – Jurgen Locadia

      Over the past few years Brighton have been the undisputed kings of the transfer market, but that wasn’t the case back in 2018.

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      They signed Jurgen Locadia from PSV for a club-record £14m in an attempt to flare their nostrils at their new Premier League opponents following their promotion from the Championship, but the Dutchman was a total flop.

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      He scored just three league goals in two years before being sent out on a couple of loans, and he left the club on a free transfer in 2021.

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    2. Burnley – Ben Gibson

      Sean Dyche usually has an eye for a shrewd signing, particularly given Burnley’s limited transfer budget, but he made a monumental mistake after shelling out a club-record £15m on Ben Gibson in 2018.

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      The defender played just six times for the club, and only once in the league, before he was sold to Norwich three years later for half the price they bought him for.

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      Gibson’s miserably forgetful stint at Turf Moor makes him quite possibly the least-impactful club-record signing in the history of the Premier League.

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    3. Chelsea – Danny Drinkwater

      Chelsea are no strangers to a gloriously unsuccessful panic buy. Both Fernando Torres and Kepa Arrizabalaga could have got the nod here but we’ve gone for Danny Drinkwater, whose £35m arrival is arguably the Blues’ worst purchase in Premier League history – and that’s saying something!

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      In the summer of 2017, Chelsea were desperate for English stars to fill their ‘home grown’ quota following the departures of John Terry, Nathaniel Chalobah and Nathan Ake (and a failed moved for Ross Barkley), and Drinkwater was airlifted in from Leicester on deadline day for a frankly astronomical fee considering his distinct lack of elite-level quality.

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      He spent one season in the first team squad before being shuffled off to a dusty corner of Cobham to see out his contract in the reserves and he left for nothing in 2022.

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    4. Crystal Palace – Emmanuel Adebayor

      Crystal Palace were desperate for goals when they nabbed Emmanuel Adebayor on a six-month loan in January 2016.

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      The Togolese striker was a free agent having been happily released by Tottenham four months prior, but that red flag didn’t dissuade the Eagles from handing him a £100,000 a week contract.

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      He scored just one goal in 15 painfully forgettable matches and his arrival coincided suspiciously with a run of nine defeats in 11 league matches.

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    1. Everton – Denis Stracqualursi

      After selling Yakubu to Blackburn on deadline day, Everton scrambled around for a last-minute replacement and unfortunately landed on unknown Argentine Denis Stracqualursi, who them brought in on a season-long loan.

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      Coming off the back of a 21-goal campaign in Argentina’s Primera Division, hopes were initially high that the forward could come in and make a big impact … but they weren’t high for very long.

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      He had to wait until January to start his first match, and was shunted down the pecking order a few days later when Everton signed Nikita Jelavic. He ended the season with one goal in 20 league appearances, and although Toffees fans appreciated his hard work, very few called for his loan move to be made permanent, to no one’s surprise.

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    2. Fulham – Konstantinos Mitroglou

      Fulham pinned their hopes of Premier League survival on Konstantinos Mitroglou when they signed him for a club-record £14m on deadline day in January 2014.

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      The Greek striker had netted, on average, 19 goals a season over the previous four years, but his form, and admittedly his fitness, totally dried up once he arrived at Craven Cottage.

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      He played just three times for the club and failed to score a single goal as Fulham were relegated. He was loaned back to his native Greece that summer and was sold to Benfica in 2015, where, annoyingly for Fulham fans, he would go on to score 52 goals in two seasons.

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    3. Liverpool – Andy Carroll

      Liverpool didn’t want to lose Fernando Torres when Chelsea came sniffing around in January 2011, so when the player forced the move through late in the window they needed to find a replacement, fast.

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      Andy Carroll had been on fire for Newcastle at the time, but only for a matter of months, and his inexperience really ought to have prevented the Reds from splashing £35m on him on deadline day.

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      The big man scored just six league goals in two years before being loaned, and eventually sold, to West Ham. Luckily for Liverpool, their other deadline day signing, Luis Suarez, picked up the slack.

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    4. Luton – Adam Boyd

      A big reason for Luton’s rise from non-league to the Premier League in the past decade is their shrewdness in the transfer market, and they really could’ve used some of that back in 2006.

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      They splashed £500k on Hartlepool striker Adam Boyle, who struggled to get to grips with Championship football and ended the season with just two goals in 23 appearances before being released.

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      The signing was emblematic of the sorry state of affairs at Luton, who suffered three successive relegations, dropping from the second tier of English football to the fifth.

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    1. Manchester City – Claudio Bravo

      Pep Guardiola’s arrival in 2016 sparked a sea of change at Manchester City, most contentious of which being his ousting of seemingly-undroppable goalkeeper Joe Hart.

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      Guardiola wanted a No. 1 who was comfortable with the ball at his feet, so snapped up the first one he could find: Barcelona’s Claudio Bravo, who had just been bumped by new Camp Nou arrival Marc-Andre ter Stegen, for £17m.

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      The Chilean ticked the ‘can use his feet’ box, but not the ‘is a competent shot-stopper’ box, and was eventually dropped to the bench after making a series of high-profile errors. In 2017 City signed Ederson who, it’s fair to say, ticked both boxes and then some.

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    2. Manchester United – Cristiano Ronaldo (2021)

      Whether they choose to admit it or not, Manchester United’s capture of Cristiano Ronaldo in 2021 was an undeniable panic buy.

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      The club weren’t in the market for a centre forward and only got the chequebook out to stop their former superstar rocking up at Man City, with whom he’d agreed personal terms.

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      He might have scored a lot of goals, but it’s hard to deny that Ronaldo’s return hindered United, both tactically and atmospherically, and his ugly departure in November 2022 – as well as the team’s subsequent upturn in form – cemented his second stint as a giant waste of time, money and energy.

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    3. Newcastle – Michael Owen

      Newcastle’s transfer strategy in the mid-00s was a bit scattergun, and their decision to sign Michael Owen from Real Madrid in 2005 was demonstrative of that.

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      Keen to sign a long-term replacement for ageing striker Alan Shearer, the Magpies paid a club-record £16m to bring Owen to St James’ Park, despite the player openly pining for a return to Liverpool.

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      Injuries blighted his stint in the north-east and he played just 14 matches in two years before eventually leaving on a free in 2009 following Newcastle’s relegation to the Championship.

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    4. Nottingham Forest – Jesse Lingard

      As reckless as Nottingham Forest’s £170m 22-man shopping spree last summer seemed at the time, it’s fair to say they made some pretty shrewd signings. Jesse Lingard, however, wasn’t one of them.

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      The former Manchester United star was one of the first names through the door, and in a desperate bid to wrench him from the clutches of fellow suitors West Ham, Forest handed him a £120,000 a week contract, which made him the highest-paid player at the club.

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      The money has been more-or-less wasted ever since as Lingard spent most of last season on the bench – and even when he was playing, fans sort of wished he wasn’t.

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    1. Sheffield United – Rhian Brewster

      Keen to consolidate their place in the Premier League, Sheffield United broke their transfer record to sign Liverpool youngster Rhian Brewster for £24m in 2020.

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      The striker was, for a time, one of English football’s hottest prospects, but his move to Bramall Lane succeeded an ankle injury that kept him out of action for over a year.

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      There were plenty of safer, and arguably smarter, options available on the market, but the Blades gambled, and lost. Brewster failed to score a single goal in his debut season and the club were relegated to the Championship. In the two years since, he’s scored just five times.

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    2. Tottenham – Roman Pavlyuchenko

      Having waited until the final day of the 2008 summer transfer window to sell Dimitar Berbatov to Manchester United, Tottenham left themselves little time to source a replacement.

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      In their haste, they took a punt on Roman Pavlyuchenko, who had just been named in the Euro 2008 team of the tournament after impressing for semi-final-reaching Russia.

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      The striker wasn’t a total flop, but his underwhelming three-and-a-half year stint, most of which was spent playing second fiddle to the likes of Peter Crouch and Jermain Defoe, suggested his form at the Euros was little more than a purple patch, and that Spurs really ought to have spent their money elsewhere.

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    3. West Ham – Simone Zaza

      Like Pavlyuchenko, Simone Zaza arrived in the Premier League off the back of an impressive showing at the Euros.

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      Following a poor start to the 2016/17 season, West Ham signed the Italian striker on loan from Juventus on deadline day, and paid a whopping £4m to do so. Also inserted into the deal was a £17m obligation to buy clause, which would be activated if Zaza made a certain number of appearances.

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      Needless to say, that didn’t happen. Zaza failed to score a single goal in his 11 games for the club, with his most memorable contribution being his shot at Old Trafford that went out for a throw-in. His loan was cancelled in January as the Hammers tried to pretend the move never happened.

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    4. Wolves – Fabio Silva

      Wolves went a bit Portugal crazy a few years ago, but while the likes of Diogo Jota, Ruben Neves and Rui Patricio were undisputed success stories, Fabio Silva’s £35m move really wasn’t.

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      Keen to nab themselves the next Portuguese superstar before he got famous, Wolves broke their transfer record to bring the relatively unknown 18-year-old striker to Molineux in 2020.

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      Silva was unexpectedly thrust into the limelight when first-choice striker Raul Jimenez went out with a horrifying skull injury, but difficult circumstances aside he didn’t look anywhere close to a £35m player.

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      He scored just four goals in 64 games before being sent out on back-to-back loans, and although the soon-to-be 21-year-old is still on the club’s books, hope of him living up to his hefty price tag is dwindling fast.

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